Thursday, March 3, 2011

How do you love?

I believe…
that just because someone doesn’t love you the way you want them to doesn’t mean they don’t love you with all they have.  (Author Unknown)


The quote above really makes you think.  Well, it makes me think anyway.  A few years back I learned a lot about Love Languages.  It was so interesting to me that Dustin and I could each express our love to each other in different ways.  I had always loved Dustin the way that I wanted to be shown love instead of the way he needed to be shown love.  It really made us think about our relationships with each other as well as our family and friends. 

My love language is:
Words of Affirmation


Actions don’t always speak louder than words. If this is your love language, unsolicited compliments mean the world to you. Hearing the words, “I love you,” are important–hearing the reasons behind that love sends your spirits skyward. Insults can leave you shattered and are not easily forgotten.

After we learned this it was so helpful.  Before hearing this, Dustin thought buying me gifts was how he should so me that he loves me. 

The Five Love Languages are:

Words of Affirmation


Actions don’t always speak louder than words. If this is your love language, unsolicited compliments mean the world to you. Hearing the words, “I love you,” are important—hearing the reasons behind that love sends your spirits skyward. Insults can leave you shattered and are not easily forgotten.

Quality Time

In the vernacular of Quality Time, nothing says, “I love you,” like full, undivided attention. Being there for this type of person is critical, but really being there—with the TV off, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks on standby—makes your significant other feel truly special and loved. Distractions, postponed dates, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful.

Receiving Gifts

Don’t mistake this love language for materialism; the receiver of gifts thrives on the love, thoughtfulness, and effort behind the gift. If you speak this language, the perfect gift or gesture shows that you are known, you are cared for, and you are prized above whatever was sacrificed to bring the gift to you. A missed birthday, anniversary, or a hasty, thoughtless gift would be disastrous—so would the absence of everyday gestures.

Acts of Service

Can vacuuming the floors really be an expression of love? Absolutely! Anything you do to ease the burden of responsibilities weighing on an “Acts of Service” person will speak volumes. The words he or she most want to hear: “Let me do that for you.” Laziness, broken commitments, and making more work for them tell speakers of this language their feelings don’t matter.

Physical Touch

This language isn’t all about the bedroom. A person whose primary language is Physical Touch is, not surprisingly, very touchy. Hugs, pats on the back, holding hands, and thoughtful touches on the arm, shoulder, or face—they can all be ways to show excitement, concern, care, and love. Physical presence and accessibility are crucial, while neglect or abuse can be unforgivable and destructive.

What's your love language?  Check out this website to find out.  It may even surprise you! 

http://www.5lovelanguages.com/
I've found that this has been so helpful to our family.  Ryland is just like his Mama and needs to be shown love by words of affirmation.  Poor Dust, he has 2 needy people at home to deal with!  Not fun for a guy who doesn't like to talk about feelings!!

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