My fave pics from our California Adventure!

USS Midway

Seal Beach in La Jolla...so cool

La Jolla coast

Legoland with his fave pres

WINNER

"Fly me like an airplane"

I was caught off guard...

Last night Ryland asked me the following question:

"Mom, how does a baby get into a mom's tummy?"

Yikes.  My eyes got huge.  He's six... he's six...that's all I could think about.  I was caught off guard.  I hadn't put any thought into how I would handle these conversations.  I thought I had a lot more time to get prepared.  Well, I don't. Dustin avoided making eye contact with me with every fiber of his being and I could see him smiling, just waiting to hear how I would respond.  I choked.  I back pedalled.  I didn't know what to say.  I asked him exactly what he wanted to know, so that I didn't accidentally give too much info.  I didn't want to lie, but he's not quite ready for the whole truth. 

So I said the first thing I could think of.  "When people get married and want to have a child, they make the baby from love."  "I know, Mom...but how does it get in the mom's tummy?  From Love?"  "Yes, that's right."  He followed up with " and then God helps the baby to grow, I know that part."  

I feel for the kid.  He's confused.  He doesn't quite get it.  He knows that we adopted him and that he wasn't born from my tummy.  But, he doesn't quite get it.  He pointed to several different people "was she adopted?"  "was he adopted?"  "Why?"  "Why not?"  We're making progress, but we have a long road ahead of us and lots of conversations.  We'll get there...someday...one conversation at a time.

Family Day

April 15th, 2010...We *finally* met him.  We finally met our son.  After everything that we had been through in Kazakhstan, after all the unsure feelings.  We met a shy, nervous, giving little boy named Dias.  We met our son.  And we knew it instantly.

April 15th, 2012...We wanted to spend this Family Day in California.  We wanted to take time out of our crazy schedules and just have fun with Ryland.  Have fun as a family.  We did just that.

For those of you that know me, know that I don't get emotional often.  I'm emotional writing this.  It's still hard to believe.  I still have to pinch myself sometimes.  He's ours.  He's the best.  I am so proud of him.  He couldn't be any cuter.  He's tough and resilient, while being vulnerable and caring.  I love him so much.  I'm so proud of our journey to him, our hard fight.  It was all worth it!

Happy Family Day, Ryland. 

We love you more,
Mama & Papa

Beach Day in The Bahamas

Celebrating the 3-0 the right way!

Cort & Dust

This is me...happy and relaxing...not the look you typically see on my face!

Chickens and roosters all over the island...Tia Leah was FREAKED out!

Adventure hike led us to this secluded beach...yes please.

Enjoyed the time, but we missed our little hot mess.

Dustin braved it and went out in the water...a little chilly for my tastes.

Bahamas or Bust

Dust and I went on a quick getaway this weekend with my brother and sis-in-law and I will be blogging about some of our adventures.  I want to get the sappy stuff out of the way first.

This was the first time that we have left Ry for longer than 1 night anywhere.  Both parents, away for 4 nights.  He seemed fine before we left, very excited to go to spend time with Oma & Opa.  We had everything prepped, packed and ready.  We loaded up half our house, Ryland and Sadie and drove to my parent's house.  We made a huge, rookie parenting mistake.  We dropped him off at bedtime.  Dummies.  As soon as we got there, I tried to put him to bed and he just started crying.  It was so unlike him and just broke my heart.  We tried to calm him down, but eventually we just had to leave...for both of our sakes.  I was a mess.  Luckily, halfway home we got a a text from my mom "he's asleep"...what a huge sigh of relief.  What kind of idiot drops the kid off like that at bedtime?  Dustin and I just shook our heads at each other all weekend.  If we had just dropped him off at ANY other time, parting would have been fine. 

I know leaving your kids for that long is hard for most parents.  Especially the first time.  I totally get it.  BUT, it's just a little different for us.  I don't have a kid that just believes when we say we're coming back.  He often doesn't think we are coming back.  He's been left before.  And he is very scared of being left again.  It's just something we have to deal with...there is no going around it.  The good news is that it makes the times when we do come back, that much more special for both of us.

It's IMPORTANT to take these trips.  It's really important for Dustin and I to take these trips.  It's also really important for Ry to have these trips take place.  It forces us to show him that we always come back.  Everyone needs downtime.  It's healthy.  It's ok to enforce the "No Kids Allowed" policy from time to time.   

Too (adverb) - to an excessive extent or degree; beyond what is desirable, fitting, or right

I won't lie...I've spent some time being pretty impressed with my ability to find flaws.  I never thought of myself as critical or at least I never thought of being critical as being a negative thing.  I've always thought it was a good thing, a gift if you will.  I can see things that other people can't or don't want to.  I'm helpful.  How can you grow and improve if someone is always there to say how awesome you are?  If you need that lady in your life...that lady is definitely not me.  I will give it to you straight.  I've ALWAYS said...it's better to know.  It's always better to actually know where you stand with someone, what your flaws are, where your gaps are, etc.  It's hard, sure, but it's better to know.  In my mind anyway.

So, I've been thinking about this all day.  Am I too critical?  I started to do some research.  I started with polling people and I called my mom, "Mom, do you think I am too critical?".  "Cort, this is a loaded question." 

Ok, ok...I'll admit it...I'm critical.  I'd rather use the word helpful, but I get it...critical it is.  The question I've been pondering is am I too critical?  It's that 3 letter word, TOO, that has me soul-searching.  During my search, I came across this website (http://lmerlobooth.typepad.com/straighttalk/2010/05/ten-signs-that-youre-too-critical.html) and this list. 

Below are some red flags that signal you may be too critical. Read this list with an open mind. While you’re going through the list, imagine what your partner or children would say about each item on the list.


• You frequently “suggest” a different hairstyle, outfit or “tip” for your partner or children upon seeing them wearing something you don’t think looks good.

• Upon entry into the home you “greet” your family by commenting about what a mess the house is or complaining about something they did or did not do.

• When your children or partner help, you are more frustrated by how they helped than you are thankful that they did help.

• After every sports event or school activity, you lead your review with what they need to work on or could’ve done better rather than giving them positives.

• You follow after your partner and “fix” what they didn’t do quite right. For example, you reload the dishwasher after your partner just loaded it.

• You frequently tell your partner or children what they should and shouldn’t do under the guise of being helpful.

• Your first comments regarding report cards pertain to the poor grades and you slide right past the good ones.

• One or both of your parents were critical and had very high expectations.

• If you ask your partner to do three things and they do two, you complain about the one thing they didn’t do.

• The people in your life tell you you’re always critical or comment that they can never do anything right in your eyes.

After reviewing the list with an open mind, I feel that I am a definite offender of 5 out of the 10.  Dustin scored me a 5 out of 10, as well.  Wow.  I guess this is something that I really need to work on. 

Toothless

My little guy lost his first and second teeth last weekend!  One on Friday night and one on Saturday night.  The poor tooth fairy had to stop by two nights in a row!  Ry is so excited to be getting older and checks his new teeth that are growing in hourly to see how much bigger they are getting.  He also has to show us...hourly as well.

Here's some pics of his first tooth!

PS - Any ideas what the tooth fairy is supposed to do with these teeth?  Seems weird for her to keep them...

"Adventure Hike"

Ry & I were both off today and we decided to go on a hike, or an "adventure hike" as Ryland called it!  Here are a few snaps of the adventure!

"Mama, watch!  I can jump over this!"

Ry & Mama after crossing the "river".  No comments on our roughness!  This lady doesn't hike in a full face of make-up!

He was sure that this was pirate's treasure...X marks the spot! He thinks Dallas is close enough to the beach for the pirates ship to dock.

It was a gloomy day.  We don't live near mountains or the beach or anything that beautiful!  This is it!

Baby T's 1st NHL Game

Perfect game for Baby Talon's first NHL game.  The Dallas Stars vs. the Colorado Avalanche!  Our family rivalry.  Here are a few snaps - enjoy!

Baby T's first time!  So cute to see him in his Star's gear!

My P&J (pride & joy)

The fam - way up top in the nosebleeds!

The Stone's

The Spear Clan

Baby T just couldn't make it any longer!!!

YIKES.  What. A. Hot. Mess.

Pretend Wrestling?

Sometimes, the reality of raising a little man smacks me in the face. It perplexes me and catches me off guard. When I first saw the look on Ryland’s face after school today, I knew something happened. He had that “oops…I messed up, but don’t really want to admit what I did look”. Every time I see this look, I wonder what is about to come out of his mouth. What is it this time? Well, today, he got in trouble for…wait for it…pretend wrestling in the hallway. Pretend wrestling in the hallway…interesting? I hadn’t heard that one before. Not even exactly sure what that means. Him and another boy were apparently “wrestling” in line without actually touching one another. Well, glad for that. At least he wasn’t really wrestling, right?


Time to get creative. My mission? To think of a correlating punishment.

Got it. “Sorry Ry, but since you can’t remember where we can wrestle and where we can’t, you’re grounded from wrestling with Papa for 7 days.”

Tears poured.

“That just hurts my feelings, Mama. I love to play rough with Pop, it’s my fave thing.”

Well…hopefully this will help him remember.
BONUS. I get 7 days of no screaming, throwing, fighting, messing the pillows up, rowdiness, riling the dog up, etc. I might really like this.  I'm a girl...I just don't understand the male need to wrestle with each other.  It's just weird to me.

Stone Resolutions for 2012

I'm sure you've been on the edge of your seat just dying to know what the Stone's plans are for change in 2012...am I right?  I don't want to disappoint.  Drum roll please...

Ryland - To learn to stop as well on rollerblades as he can on ice skates.
Mama - Incorporate more Kaz culture and tradition into our home.
Papa - To lose 15(ish) pounds.


And there you have it.  Earth-shattering.

We like to think of things that we can accomplish and won't consume us.  I won't lie, my resolution last year was to incorporate more brown into my mostly black wardrobe.  I'm serious.  But, it was something that was important to me and I really thought about that while shopping.  I'm a black and charcoal kind of girl...it was a BIG change!  Anyway, back to 2012...I'm really excited to bring more culture into our home for Ryland's benefit.  I don't think we've done a very good job of it so far.  It has taken us about a year and a half just to figure out having a kid in our home.  HUGE ADJUSTMENT PERIOD!  Now that we have a lot more figured out...it's time.  We started the year off right because Ded Moroz (Father Frost) came to visit us all the way from Kazakhstan on New Years Eve.  He left a few little things for Ryland and he was amazed.  We dug out some old photographs of Ryland when he was 3 at the baby house during a party when Father Frost came to visit.  It was a pretty cool experience.  Phase 1 complete.  Phase 2, is that I want to incorporate Russian/Kazakh (Ded Moroz) decorations in with our Christmas stash...I've been searching the internet like crazy.

We had such a great Victory Day while we were in Kaz, that we want to celebrate that this year with our family.  We plan to have a big picnic at a park (just like we did in Pavlodar) and listen to music (we have a Victory Day CD). 

We plan to make borscht more often and would like to make some of the other delicious foods that we ate while we were there.  The rest of my plans are still a work in process!

2012 - out with the old and in with the new!

Last night we started a new family tradition.  Although we think that it is very important to set goals and resolutions for next year, we also know how important it is to get rid of the negativity and bad experiences of 2011.  We all wrote down things from 2011 that we wanted to rid ourselves of...things we wanted to go away.  We wrote things like car accidents, arguments, toxic people, bad grades, etc.  Then we all went outside and stood around the fire.  We took turns reading these things aloud and then BURNING the papers.  It was very therapuetic.  It was neat to hear eveyone's lists and everyone got into it, even Ryland.  Now that we've moved out the negative from 2011, we have so much more room for all the good things that 2012 has in store for us!

Happy New Year to you and yours!  Make the best of it!

The Stone Family